The Consequential Vindication
by CatGal15
Summary: Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

"I told you we'd be late," Bernadette sighed to Howard, upon seeing the other five friends assembled around a restaurant table.

"Sorry...But once you start fighting any boss, you're committed."

Bernadette smiled and patted his back. "Unfortunately, so am I," she said lightly.

Howard gave a short, insincere chuckle at her words and the pair began walking to the table, sliding into the two remaining seats.

"And not only did I start the Babysitter Agreement, I finished it," Sheldon was saying. "Laminated, color-coded, college-ruled, and it has an alphabetical list of contestants in descending order of adequacy."

"How thoughtful," Howard muttered, easily joining the conversation like he had been there for hours.

"Sweetie, did you ever think that's something Missy would decide?" Penny asked.

Sheldon's hesitation was only brief. "No."

"I'm sure all of Sheldon's babysitters were chosen in descending order of their tolerance levels," Leonard mused.

"Actually, by age five I was looking after both Missy and myself," Sheldon informed him, and he playfully, gently hit Amy's arm, a big smile on his face. "You should've seen me. I wore my hair the same, I went to school in fun tuxedos and, naturally, I was the brightest pupil in school. That hasn't changed, either."

"Aren't you modest," Penny said sarcastically, and tapped her wine glass to silently request a refill.

"Excuse me, when you're as intelligent as am I, you don't need to be modest."

"Nah, but you'd be less of a smelly pooper," she replied, totally disenchanted.

"Can we not say that in a restaurant?" Bernadette requested. "Ever again?"

"Agreed," Sheldon and Howard concurrently said.

"Well, maybe this will bring you back to Earth," Raj said, "You've made no progress in string theory. The one time you thought you did was a mistake, and the whole university heard you on helium."

Sheldon was silent, giving him a lethal glance beneath his lashes as he folded his napkin into a triangle. He was rearranging his cutlery when Penny's voice sawed through the insults he was contemplating. "What are you doing?"

"This is how the napkins and cutlery are supposed to be in restaurants," he grumbled, still offended. "Everybody do this," he ordered, and only Penny and Amy were complying when Sheldon glanced up -

...And became ice.

"Oh, dear Lord," he whispered.

"What?" Amy asked, looking at him. Sitting right beside him, she followed his gaze when he wouldn't respond, and vaguely recognized a man in a gray tweed suit. "He looks kind of familiar."

At once, all seven turned to look at the same man.

"Oh, yeah..." Leonard said thoughtfully.

Seeing fourteen eyes on him, the man began to walk toward their table.

"Oh, dear. Oh, dear." Sheldon stood, slowly.

Stopping near them, the man looked at the seven friends. "Is there a problem?" he asked, and the grouchy voice made Sheldon withdraw. "It's rude to stare."

"We're not staring, sir. Those guys all go to the same doctor for neck twinges and we just hit it off," Howard said. When the man just looked at him, he turned his attention to his plate and began to butter a bagel.

"Is there anything else?" Sheldon asked roughly.

"Yes. Mind your own damn business. Enjoy your dinner."

The man turned and walked away with a cold confidence.

Sheldon slowly, shakily sat.

"I know I've seen him before," Leonard said obsessively. "Seems to me I saw him last week."

"In the photo album Mother gave me," Sheldon informed, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Estranged uncle?" Bernadette asked.

"No," his voice came from a grave. "My father." 


	2. Chapter 2

"Your father died. You saw a death certificate," Leonard insisted.

"I saw a death certificate for George Looper," Sheldon said huffily. "I knew it was odd! Mother told me whoever did it was new. Now it makes sense!" He pushed his chair back, stood and hastily approached Mr. Cooper, who sat with a woman. "Excuse me," he said loudly, and every customer in the restaurant looked at him. Seeing him approach the specific table, everyone else resumed their dinners.

"What now?" Mr. Cooper sighed.

"Don't you have anything else to say to me?" Sheldon asked harshly. His arms were crossed, his eyes were wide, and Mr. Cooper was looking at him as if he thought he was crazy.

"No."

"You don't!" Sheldon began digging through his jacket pocket. "You don't!" he repeated, and took out a tiny picture. Stuffing his wallet back into his pocket with one hand, he then unfolded the old photo, handing it out to Mr. Cooper, who only took it out of curiosity. Looking down at his own image, his face reflected utter shock.

"How the hell did you get this?"

"Your wife, my mother, gave it to me! The night you abandoned us!"

The woman hastily grabbed her purse, sliding out of the booth and hurrying away.

Mr. Cooper turned the photo over, looking at the back. Then his face tightened in confusion. "Wha-I don't understand. Says here this man is named George. And dead."

"What's your name?"

"Jakob."

"Oh, really? I believe it's your turn to show me a picture."

The man complied, reaching into his own wallet and showing Sheldon his identity card. Sheldon leaned closer, not believing what he saw. "You share his birthday," he informed him. "You must be his twin!"

"So I have a nephew?"

"And a niece, and a grandson."

The man briefly looked away. "Fascinating," he said, totally deadpan - reminding Sheldon so much of himself.

"Now that you're alone, perhaps you would like to join me and my friends."

"Indeed." The man picked up his tray and followed Sheldon. Upon setting his food down he turned and stole a chair from the table behind him.

"You were right, Bernadette," Sheldon said, "Guys, I'd like you to meet my estranged uncle, Jakob."

Soft, tentative hi's and hellos swept throughout the other six.

"Jakob, these are my friends. Bernadette and her husband Howard, Raj, my roommate Leonard and his wife Penny, and my girlfriend Amy."

"Pleased to meet all of you," Jakob said, and abruptly turned his attention back to Sheldon. "I knew Mother was keeping a secret."

"No, no, no," Sheldon denied. "Not my Meemaw."

"Indeed. I never got to make a family tree; she forbade it. I had to go to church every Sunday and ask for forgiveness; I didn't know why, I thought I was a great son...Did your father go to church and pray?"

"Oh, no. Never. He went to bars and drank." Sheldon paused; suddenly a lot of things made sense. "My mother, Mary, tried to get him to attend, and Meemaw always told him there was no god. I'm starting to think they worked together to make him the very opposite of you; effectively decreasing the likelihood of you meeting."

"How? Pressure?"

"And nothing else," Sheldon told him. "I know my mother's insistence upon a god only motivated me further to pursue a career in science."

"They must have hounded him."

"Relentlessly. And they argued every time they were in the same room with him. Upon recollection I feel imprudent, having not taken the hint. They were on good terms, when he wasn't there."

"I'd like to speak to this Mary. And Mother. In the same room."

"I can arrange that."

Jakob nodded politely, all cold confidence gone. "I'd owe you one."

Sheldon blinked at him. "One what?" 


	3. Chapter 3

Sheldon sat at the kitchen island, combing through a box filled with old family photos. Leonard leaned before him, looking at the pictures Sheldon handed to him.

"How much of this do you think was my real dad?" Sheldon asked, his voice hard. "How many times do you think Uncle Jakob walked in and out of my life and I didn't even notice whether my dad was working late, or hooking up, or drinking past midnight again? They could have never told me my father had died, and Uncle Jakob could have just...been there, all the time, being my father. What a story that would make; you walk onto the set of Jerry Springer and find out your uncle's been doing your mom just to trick the dumb kid." He threw a photograph onto the island and shook his head.

"You weren't a dumb kid."

"I would've been! I wouldn't have seen a difference; I didn't last night." Distraught, Sheldon pushed his chair away from the table and took five steps toward the hall, but a knock on the door of 4A made him halt. His eyes followed Leonard as his roommate crossed the suite and opened the door.

"Hi, Mary, come on in."

"Thank you, dear." Mrs. Cooper entered the apartment, turning her smile to her son. "Hi, Shelly!"

Rooted in place, Sheldon looked trapped. Finally he stepped off the ledge and into the living room. "Would you like a beverage? Or a drink?"

Leonard and Mrs. Cooper looked oddly at him.

"Okay, maybe later." Sheldon turned back and began pushing the mess of photos back into the box with trembling hands.

"Where is this friend you want me to meet?" Mrs. Cooper asked.

"He's not here yet," Sheldon snapped, hugging the box to his chest. With long strides he carried the photos down the hall.

Leonard exchanged a glance with Mrs. Cooper. "He's just a little out of sorts."

"Why?"

Leonard paused, and then said, "Uh, intestinal distress."

"Too much Big Bran, or not enough?"

Leonard was trying to decide how badly he wanted to have this conversation when Sheldon strode down the hall and into the kitchen. "For your information there is nothing wrong with my bowels, and I don't appreciate the discourse."

"You seem on-edge; we're worried about you, Shelly."

"My bowels are fine," his voice was about the temperature of an icicle.

"Are you sure? I mean, I've noticed the regulators up on yer shelves, but I've never seen 'em empty."

"I restock them. New topic, PLEASE."

A knock on his door answered his metaphorical prayer. Sheldon strode door to the door and turned to face his mother. "This might come as a shock," he said, as Mrs. Cooper walked toward him. "But I really want you to meet this man. If you haven't already." He gave her a hard, considering look before turning and pulling the door open.

"I think you're right, Shelly; this guy does look familiar," Mrs. Cooper said, and Meemaw's brows went up.

"Good to see ya, Moon Pie. Mary, dear...I'm gonna let that one slide. And you," Meemaw answered, as she entered the apartment and walked toward Leonard. "Why are you still here? You should be livin' with your wife."

"I'm moving out slowly," Leonard answered. "To make it easier on Moon Pie."

"How precious is that? Well, honey, glaciers are movin' faster. I mean, this is nonsense. You've kissed her, you've slept with her; the best part of your relationship is already old news. At this rate movin' in is gonna be your last act of romance."

While Sheldon, his mother and his Meemaw sat in the living room, Leonard considered her words.

"So do you know who Shelly's mystery guest is?" Mrs. Cooper asked Meemaw.

"No."

"Me neither. Seems he ain't tellin' neither of us nothin'."

"And for your information," Sheldon called to Leonard, "Only Meemaw gets to call me Moon Pie."

"Okay, Shelly," Leonard answered, as he headed swiftly for the door. "Whatever you say."

Sheldon glowered at Leonard's retreating back as he left, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Can you give us a hint?" Mrs. Cooper asked.

"Uh, well, he's a scientist, too."

Mrs. Cooper and Meemaw smiled at each other. "Aw, Shelly's got a new friend," Mrs. Cooper tittered. "How sweet; I guess everybody was wrong about you."

"Any more hints?" Meemaw prodded quickly, upon seeing his face.

"Certainly. He performs crazy experiments all the time. I mean, crazy. Next to him I look like a child prodigy all over again," Sheldon gushed.

"Sounds interesting," Mrs. Cooper replied. "When's he supposed to be here?"

"Well..." Sheldon craned his head to see the clock. "Ten minutes ago."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be here," Meemaw said, patting his arm.

"Of course. Why wouldn't he?" Sheldon asked quickly, his voice a whip. "Just because he and I are barely strangers and now he's coming to my home, a privilege I don't even like giving to friends - a privilege I don't even like my roommate having."

"Still? You need to shape up, Moon Pie."

The door opened and Leonard, looking over his shoulder, said, "Welcome to his not-so-humble abode."

"Not so humble? You know, he's kind of like me." Jakob Cooper stepped through the doorway, and Mrs. Cooper, sitting in the recliner, slid forward at the familiar sight, her shaky hand setting her cup down on the coffee table with a clatter. Meemaw turned in her seat. They openly stared, making no attempt to hide her surprise.

"Oh dear God." Mrs. Cooper stood, and cut her judgmental eyes to her son. "Shelly, what sort'a sick joke is this?"

"Sick joke!"

"You said nothin' about exorcism."

He tried to look loving. "You mean a s ance. Exorcism is the banishment of the spirit."

Jakob extended a hand to her. "George is still good and dead; I'm Jakob."

The pain cleared from her eyes, leaving her only to look red in the face. "Oh," she said quietly. She reached out and slowly shook his hand. "How - how did you find Sheldon?"

Sheldon nodded; he had anticipated the question.

"Last night, at a restaurant. It was a complete fluke; it was bizarre, it was..."

"Despite your best efforts, perhaps," Sheldon muttered.

Mary turned to face him, her mouth open, but she found she could not lie anymore. They had found each other - it was futile to try. "Okay. Okay, I didn't want you to meet."

"And Meemaw?"

"Shelly, you're right; she did...let me help her," Mary finished in a rush, making his eyes go wide.

"It was her idea? Why?"

"Well, when your father died; your grandma didn't want there to be any reminders."

Sheldon considered. "I suppose that makes sense."

Sheldon sat in his Spot as Mary and Jakob took their seats.

-0-0-0-0-

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yesss...I have Steve Spangler in mind as Jakob/George. Just picture him aged a bit with makeup. 


	4. Chapter 4

"I should've have known I couldn't keep anything from you," Mrs. Cooper said into the awkward silence.

"Still, none of this explains the death certificate for George Looper," Sheldon grumbled.

"Maybe the person who made that mistake was new to the keyboard," Mrs. Cooper offered.

"Yeah, and maybe that person was fired and replaced by someone who knew how to type." Sheldon's complaints were quelled when a shriek came from the hallway. Though he wasn't the only one to hurry to the door, he was the first, and pulling it open he saw Penny leaning against the wall, pressing the phone to her ear with a shaking hand.

"Oh! That's terrific!" she was saying tearfully. "I am so happy for you, congratulations. Okay. 'Bye." She hung up and looked mistily at Leonard. "Bernadette's having twins!"

"Oh my God!"

Sheldon was the only one with a negative reaction. He rolled his eyes. "Double trouble," he muttered. "Double diapers. One of me."

"Yeah, that's too much," Leonard mused.

Sheldon gave him a sour glance, turned and walked into the apartment.

"She's not havin' 'em right now, is she?" Mrs. Cooper asked anxiously.

"No, no. She's at the, um, baby-doctor place," Penny answered. "She's not due for three more months."

Jakob looked cluelessly at Mrs. Cooper. "Is Bernadette related to me?"

"No."

"Is her husband?"

"No. Yer family is Sheldon, Missy, an' George." Mrs. Cooper smiled at her husband's brother. "An' I'm happy to be a stepsister when you need one."

"Thanks! But none of that Biblical crap, okay?"

Mrs. Cooper withdrew. "And now yer on yer own," she said, and walked past him into 4A. "Shelly, watcha doin'?"

"I had to make an edit to a page of the Babysitter Agreement," Sheldon answered, looking up at her from his computer chair. He clicked the mouse and the printing machine hummed to life.

"Such as?"

"I categorized myself as Reliable But Unwilling."

Mrs. Cooper peered over his shoulder at the screen. "You're the only one on that list."

"It's a relatively new category." Sheldon closed the program and retrieved the paper. With his other hand he picked up a steaming cup.

"Tea?" Mrs. Cooper inquired. "Uh-oh. Why're you upset?" she asked knowingly.

"Because even if I refuse to babysit, Leonard never would; which means I'll have to put up with it anyway." Sheldon sipped his tea, put his cup down, tore out a page in the binder he held, and replaced it with the paper he had printed. Then, as the others came in from the hall, Sheldon dug out his ringing phone. "Offer them tea," he murmured to his mother, before answering. "Hello? ...Yes, I heard. ...Joyous? That's complete poppycock." He flashed a quick and strained smile at Penny, but quickly rolled his eyes. "No, Amy, I don't want - nonono, that's not a mu - Amy!" He paused and listened, then shook his head. "I said I'd consider it. ...And, I don't want children yet; I'm...Hey! I am not too old. ...Okay, I'm not too old yet, but...Yes, yes, I'll concede you're getting there, too. ...Fine! Goodbye." He hung up, looking like a wounded animal.

"You okay, Shelly?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon walked over to his Spot and sank into it with a sigh. "Amy's losing her patience," he said, his voice raw. "She wants kids; she says if she's not pregnant by the time Bernadette has kids, she's leaving me."

"Whoa," Penny said.

"That's harsh. What're you gonna do?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon sighed. "I don't know. On the one hand, I don't want kids...But on the other, I really don't want to lose her again."

Mrs. Cooper raised her brows. "Sounds like you don't want to lose her, more than you don't want to become a daddy."

Sheldon stood and, abandoning his tea on the computer desk and the guests in his house, he put on his coat and grabbed his keys from the bowl. "Make yourself at home, Jakob. We've got a kitchen and a toilet, I'll see you later." He pulled the door shut behind him with such force that the dart board rattled. 


	5. Chapter 5

The instant Amy opened the door, the smell of alcohol hit Sheldon, and he waved his hand before him in a vain attempt to clear the air. Though it was only four PM, she was dressed in pajama-like clothes, her hair pulled into sloppy pigtails.

"So. You came after all," her voice was a shard of ice.

"I came to give you the honor of yelling at you in person," Sheldon answered, in his usual no-nonsense smartass way. "I don't understand you, Amy Farrah-Fowler! You have the audacity to correct any behavior of mine you don't like, yet you get to threaten me with a breakup."

"Well, you could have at any minute threatened me with the same thing."

"But I didn't, because I respect you," Sheldon said triumphantly.

Some of the pain seemed to clear from her eyes, but she still didn't sound much happier. "Maybe I'm being ridiculous."

"Maybe. Want to tell me why one of the greatest minds in Pasadena is drunk?"

Amy turned and shuffled inside, and Sheldon followed her. "I'm sad, Sheldon," Amy finally said, her voice breaking on emotion that startled him. "Penny's married, Bernadette's having twins. What about me? What about us? We're still in love, aren't we?"

"Yes!"

"I'm getting too old to have any children at all. We're not married. We don't express our love often enough. And I would do anything to become a mother." Amy refilled her wine glass with a shaking hand. "A boy is my first preference, but I'd love my daughter equally. Whatever I have would be my biggest pride and joy - the one thing I can leave behind when I die. To mark my place. To let people know I was ever here."

Overwhelmed, Sheldon offered, "You can write an autobiography."

She shook her head. "It's not the same thing. I don't want my...my footprint, to be the product of sitting behind a computer screen. I want laughter, and love, and memories to look back on. I want what Bernadette's going to have." She sighed and resolutely lifted her chin. "And if you absolutely do not want children, then I have to find someone who does before it's too late."

"I can handle children!" Sheldon said hotly. "It's what they do, think, and say that drives me up the wall."

"We would guide them," Amy said bitterly. "We would influence those things. It would be okay. And on days we need a break, we could give them to your friends...or your sister, or your mother. You know your mom would take good care of our kids."

"Kids!" Sheldon blinked. "How many do you want?"

"At least one. More would be nice. It would add more of the laughter and love I was talking about." Amy sat on the couch.

"Well...Where would we live? Here?"

Amy shook her head. "No, this is a one-bedroom." I don't know, I kind of thought we would move into your apartment, and we would share a room and the kid or kids would get the other..." Her voice trailed off and she set the full wine glass onto the coffee table. "I'm sorry, Sheldon. I didn't mean to scare you over here. I just thought..."

Sheldon raised his brows expectantly.

"I don't know. I thought wine would help. It always seems to loosen Penny up."

"Penny's loose enough sober. Are you sure you want her as a role model?"

In the following silence he sat next to her. "Amy...you have six friends," he said importantly. "I didn't have this many people in my family. Surely you can see why I think there's plenty of love and laughter for you right now."

"I can! I absolutely can. But I want to be tied with you. I want to pass on our genes."

Sheldon sighed and nodded. "They are good genes."

Amy stared across the room, and finally, hesitantly, looked at him. "I don't want to be forgotten."

"You won't!"

"Okay, what about you? Unless you make a breakthrough in science, or save a life, or do some other remarkable thing; what will you be remembered for?"

Sheldon's face darkened. "I came over here to cheer you up. And all that did is bring me down with you."

Amy finished the glass and sighed. "Want some wine?"

"No. I want a real drink."

Amy got up and walked, albeit unsteadily, to the fridge. Pulling out a bottle of beer she handed it to him. "You realize we still don't have any answers?"

"Well...Some people leave footprints in the sand, and some just draw and write in it."

"I can draw and write well enough. I want the journey." She leaned against the counter. "Things are happening all around me; and I'm just stuck in the same room picking at brain matter. It's not enough."

Sheldon watched her gyrate the bottle, letting the wine churn. As she uncapped the bottle and took a deep pull, Sheldon noticed the faint lines beginning to show beneath her eyes.

She drained the bottle and set it down with a clatter. "I don't want to just be remembered as the neurobiologist who pleasured a starfish. I want more than that for myself. I mean...who wouldn't?"

Sheldon reached out to steady her as she tottered a little. "Maybe you should lie down."

"Okay," she mumbled, and he draped an arm around her. As a pair they began walking slowly toward the bedrooms, and she leaned her head on his arm. 


	6. Chapter 6

It was dark when Amy awoke. The curtains were closed, but blew in the soft breeze that cooled her face. Rolling over, she smelled the baby powder scent of her dear Sheldon; and she blindly reached for him, shaking off the last of her inebriation when all she clasped was a fistful of blanket. Head pounding, she untangled herself from the covers and stood. Making her way to the thin triangle of light framing her door, she fumbled for the light switch. The sudden, complete brightness was a violation to her closed lids, and she slowly forced herself to gradually open her eyes and, finally, drop her hands.

When her eyes were accustomed enough she put her hand on the door knob - and stopped.

She was wearing a beautiful ring. A wedding ring. On her ring finger.

What had happened last night?

She stood there, surveying the ring, watching the beautiful colors flash through the faceted diamond. Then she opened the door and walked through the lit hallway into the dark living room. She paused, waiting to hear a soft snore, but the only breaths she heard were her own. She walked to the couch and ran her hands along the empty cushions.

After flooding the living room and kitchen with light, she looked at the clock. 3:27 AM. But who cared what time it was? She was wearing an engagement ring.

She poured herself some coffee and sat at the table, trying to recall the events of yesterday and last night. Sheldon had visited...Were they engaged? He had gone home after having at least a few sips of beer. Well, she knew he hadn't driven, anyway.

Suddenly her memory hit her with a rush that left her breathless.

They'd had sex.

Sheldon on his knee, a ring in his hand...

Oh, God. How badly had the beer affected his memory? Would he remember?

She had to talk to him.

-0-0-0-0-

Sheldon was laying on the couch, eyes open, his feet nearest to the door. He stared at the ceiling, trying to calm himself.

He had participated in unprotected sex.

He had tried for a baby - on purpose. What if she had a baby? He'd become a father. A father. He'd be one of the guys pushing a stroller. Dear Lord, what if she had twins, too? What if he had to babysit his twins and Bernadette's twins at the same time? Oh dear God, what if she had triplets? Or more?

He needed air. Trying not to hyperventilate, he sat up and wrapped the blanket around himself, then stood and headed toward the balcony. As he slid the door aside his phone began to ring, and he quickly let himself out so he wouldn't disturb his roommate or guests.

"Hello? ...Hi, Amy." He felt his cheeks warm. But why? She couldn't see him. "No, I've been up since...since 6AM." And just what had he been thinking? He couldn't exactly abandon the kid, or kids. Then he'd be no better than Howard's father...

"Sheldon? Sheldon, are you there?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, I am. Sorry. What did you say? ...I remember." He leaned against the balustrade. "Yes, I remember all of that! I wasn't that drunk. ...Yes, I know. I helped you walk. ...It's okay. ...That would be fine. See you then."

He hung up.

There were few times in his life he had regrets, but this was one of them. No, he didn't want to lose Amy. Yes, he was willing to marry her. But, fatherhood?

Was any man ever ready? Surely it couldn't be exclusive to him.

So, she would come over tomorrow. Well, in a few hours. They would talk. They would talk for as long as it took to say everything that had to be said.

Then what?

What if the kid took after him, and was a complete nerd? He'd have to step up and rescue the kid from bullies - when he himself was still a victim. What if it was a girl? He'd be expected to try and stop her from having coitus at too young an age, and he rarely understood the intentions of others. And no matter the gender, he'd have to protect the kid. How was he supposed to do that when it was often Penny who protected him?

He wanted to bite his nails. But that was unhygienic.

Why, why, why couldn't he lose his memory again? Then it wouldn't be his fault. Well, it would be, if he intentionally tried to traumatize his own brain, but his work was too precious. His field would suffer without him.

He was being foolish. He was a grown man who had proclaimed his love to his girlfriend. They had gotten engaged. Drunk or not, he had vowed to be there for her.

He had to keep his promise.

Bowing his head, he made his decision. Letting go of the rail he let himself inside.

He would talk to Amy. And, whenever he could, he would talk to Beverly Hofstadter. He had a feeling he would need her wisdom, if not his own. 


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning, Sheldon..." Amy's demeanor of tentative happiness faded as she stopped in her tracks, upon seeing Beverly's face staring directly at her from the computer screen. "Good morning, Beverly," she reluctantly added.

"Good morning. Please sit down," Beverly answered.

Amy sat, looking harshly at Sheldon. "Did you arrange a bogus therapy session on me for any inappropriate behavior last night?"

"No!"

"I called him," Beverly cut in, "To let him know that his mother and Leonard's father have begun dating."

"Oh. Okay."

"Now let's circle back to that statement regarding 'inappropriate behavior'."

Amy hastily explained, "I may have gotten very, very drunk and...laid and engaged," she finished lamely.

"I see. And do you wish to legally marry?"

The question startled both of them. "I...I wouldn't mind," Amy answered, looking up at Sheldon.

He ignored Amy even when he said, "I would be okay with it."

Beverly frowned prettily. "You don't sound very enthusiastic. Are there problems?"

"Well, in my drunken stupidity, I kind of gave Sheldon the ultimatum of knocking me up or becoming a bachelor." Again she looked at him. "Sorry about that, by the way."

"It's alright. I understand how alcohol can complicate things." His eyes moved suddenly to Beverly, who adjusted her glasses, averting her gaze.

"Yeah, I can understand it, too." She met Amy's confused eyes. "What you should both do is hold off on this decision until you are neither drunk nor hung over. Discuss it, and make the decision with clear conscience and judgment."

"Thank you, Beverly. Want me to tell Leonard about Mom and Alfred?"

Beverly squared her shoulders. "No. I'll do it. Logging off."

In the following silence Sheldon closed his laptop. "Want some coffee?"

"Sure." Amy followed him to the kitchen, picking a less touchy subject than their relationship status. "So, what's the word with your uncle?"

"He's in Vienna for the week. He added me on Facebook and has been posting a barrage of pictures to my Wall." Sheldon began to pour the coffee. "It's an outrage."

"I don't understand."

"He's one of the four best brains in California, quite possibly the world. And instead of filming his crazy experiments, he's taking pictures of women at the beach." He shook his head. "Who wants to see that?"

The front door opened and Leonard walked in, dropping the keys into the bowl with a big smile on his face.

"What is it? Did something happen?" Sheldon asked expectantly.

"Yes! Penny and I just decided to become roommates!" Leonard closed the door and walked proudly to his room.

Amy's congratulatory smile faded when she looked at Sheldon. He stood at the kitchen island, squinting in the general direction of the front door. "Sheldon? You okay?"

He looked at her. "I need a roommate."

"Well," Her voice stopped him as he moved toward the computer, "What about me?"

"What about you what?"

Amy put her coffee down, trying to push past the offense he could so easily make her feel. "I'm asking to be your roommate. We love one another, we need to talk some things over, we could carpool to Cal Tech with Leonard every day. We could easily afford the rent together, and we wouldn't have to travel to see each other. Plus, if we do decide to marry, it would just be sensible to live with our spouse."

Sheldon was actually considering her words. She held her breath.

Finally he nodded. "It makes sense," he said quietly.

"Yeah?" she asked eagerly.

"Yes. I believe there's even a key for you by the door."

"Okay. Okay. Just...Is that a yes?"

Sheldon looked at her and nodded again. "Yes. Let's be roommates." 


	8. Chapter 8

"I think I'm the happiest I've ever been," Leonard said, making his wife smile. "I just need to find people who can help me move."

"I assume Kurt is out of the question," Raj answered.

"Way out," Penny answered.

"What about Zack?" Howard asked.

Leonard briefly considered. "If he's up for helping the guy who implied he was stupid move in with his ex-wife; then yeah, I'll consider it." He smiled, but Penny's serious stare sobered him.

"Kripke might fare," Sheldon pointed out.

"Do you not remember playing basketball with him?" Raj asked.

"Of course I remember! It's me. But he could take all the lighter stuff."

"Sure, and why not invite Mrs. Davis and Professor Siebert, too?" Howard retorted. "Hell, the whole university."

"Nah, I don't want that naked professor in my apartment," Penny told him.

Sheldon shuddered at the memory.

"In a perfect world he's sane," Raj said.

"In a perfect world, Hulk, Bain and The Thing are helping me," Leonard answered.

"You sure you wouldn't accidentally call Bain out on being a dumbass?" Howard mocked.

Penny stirred her food. "Who's stupider, Bain or that...Salmon Grundy guy?"

"Solomon," Leonard corrected. "I think it might be Bain."

"I always thought they were equally stupid," Sheldon contributed.

"You think everyone is stupid," Penny mumbled.

"Not equally," he replied. "For example, while your intelligence level suffers in so many areas, you've also taught me a great deal."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Great. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Bernadette looked up from her food. "There is a heavy guy at the pharmacy who owes Penny a favor."

Leonard looked at his wife. "You did a favor for some dude at work?"

"I just cut his daughter's hair for free."

"You didn't screw it up, did you?" Sheldon asked sharply.

"No. How many times do I need to say I'm sorry before you stop bringing it up?"

"I had to wear a beanie!" Sheldon fumed. "Howard told Kripke I was going through a phase."

"Oh, I'm sorry I missed that," Penny chortled.

"I can send you a picture through Facebook," Howard answered.

Sheldon looked up at him. "You said you deleted that."

"He also said the beanie looked good," Raj told him.

"Delete it!"

"Nope."

"Delete it, Howard!"

"You want it? Come and get it," Howard said, and dinner quietly resumed. Amy looked at Sheldon, then back down at her plate, shaking her head.

"Nothing brings out the maturity of a man like moving in with a woman, right, Amy?" Bernadette asked.

Sheldon looked at Howard. "You know I'm never going to babysit for you."

"Good!" Howard said, appearing genuinely happy at the news.

Confused, Sheldon looked at Leonard.

-0-0-0-0-

AUTHOR'S NOTE: And that does it for this book! But if you've enjoyed it, then don't worry...I have three sequels planned! 


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